Amahemuhemu:
Izingane eziningi ziyathandaamathoyizi amahle. Bazibambe lapho belele, bedla noma beyodlala. Abazali abaningi badidekile ngalokhu. Bacabanga ukuthi lokhu kungenxa yokuthi izingane zabo azinabudlelwane futhi azikwazi ukuzwana nezinye izingane. Bakhathazekile ukuthi lokhu kuwuphawu lokungavikeleki kwezingane zabo. Baze bacabange ukuthi uma bengangeneleli ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kulula ngezingane zabo ukuba zibe nezinkinga zobuntu. Baze bazame ngazo zonke izindlela ukwenza izingane zabo "ziyeke" lawa mathoyizi aluhlaza.
Incazelo yeqiniso:
Izingane eziningi zithanda amathoyizi aluhlaza. Bazibambe lapho belele, bedla noma beyodlala. Abazali abaningi badidekile ngalokhu. Bacabanga ukuthi lokhu kungenxa yokuthi izingane zabo azinabudlelwane futhi azikwazi ukuzwana nezinye izingane. Bakhathazekile ukuthi lokhu kuwuphawu lokungavikeleki kwezingane zabo. Baze bacabange ukuthi uma bengangeneleli ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kulula ngezingane zabo ukuba zibe nezinkinga zobuntu. Baze bazame ngazo zonke izindlela ukwenza izingane zabo "ziyeke" lawa mathoyizi aluhlaza. Ingabe lezi zinkathazo nezinkathazo ziyadingeka ngempela? Kufanele sikubheke kanjani ukuthembela kwezingane kulawa mathoyizi onodoli?
01
"Abalingani bengqondo" baphelezela izingane ekuzimele
Ukuthanda amathoyizi kanokusho akuhlangene nomuzwa wokulondeka
Eqinisweni, lesi senzakalo sibizwa ngokuthi "ukunamathiselwe kwento ethambile" yizazi zokusebenza kwengqondo, futhi kuwukubonakaliswa kwesikhashana kokukhula okuzimele kwezingane. Ukuphatha amathoyizi kanokusho “njengabalingani babo abacabangayo” kungabasiza ukuba baqede ukungezwani ezimweni ezithile nasezimweni ezithile, futhi abazali akudingeki bakhathazeke kakhulu.
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uDonald Wincott senza ucwaningo lokuqala mayelana nokwenzeka kokunamathela kwezingane ethoyizini elithile elithambile noma into ethile, futhi saphetha ngokuthi lesi simo sinokubaluleka kwesikhashana ekukhuleni kwengqondo yezingane. Uqambe izinto ezithambile izingane ezinamathiselwe “ezintweni ezishintshayo”. Njengoba izingane zikhula, ziba ngokuzimela ngokwengeziwe ngokwengqondo, futhi ngokwemvelo zizodlulisela lokhu kusekelwa ngokomzwelo kwezinye izindawo.
Ocwaningweni lukaRichard Passman, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo yezingane eNyuvesi yaseWisconsin, kanye nabanye, kwatholakala nokuthi lesi simo esiyinkimbinkimbi “sokunamathisela into ethambile” sivamile emhlabeni wonke. Isibonelo, e-United States, e-Netherlands, eNew Zealand nakwamanye amazwe, ingxenye yezingane "ezinento ethambile enamathiselwe" ifinyelele ku-3/5, kuyilapho idatha e-South Korea ingu-1/5. Kuyabonakala ukuthi kuyinto evamile ukuba ezinye izingane zinamathele kumathoyizi kanokusho noma izinto ezithambile. Futhi kuyaphawuleka ukuthi iningi lalezi zingane ezithanda amathoyizi kanokusho alintuli umuzwa wokulondeka futhi linobuhlobo obuhle bomzali nengane nabazali bazo.
02
Abantu abadala baphinde babe yinkimbinkimbi yokuncika entweni ethambile
Kuyaqondakala ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka ngendlela efanele
Ngokuqondene nalezo zingane ezithembele kakhulu kuzoamathoyizi amahle, abazali kufanele babaqondise kanjani ngendlela efanele? Nazi iziphakamiso ezintathu:
Okokuqala, ungabaphoqi ukuba bayeke. Ungaphambukisa ukunaka kwabo kumathoyizi athile ngokusebenzisa ezinye ezithandwa ezinye izingane; okwesibili, hlakulela ezinye izithakazelo zezingane futhi uziqondise ekuhloleni izinto ezintsha, ukuze zinciphise kancane kancane ukunamathela kwazo kumathoyizi kanokusho; okwesithathu, khuthaza izingane ukuthi zivalelise okwesikhashana ezintweni ezizithandayo, ukuze izingane zazi ukuthi kunezinto ezithakazelisayo ezengeziwe ezibalindile.
Eqinisweni, ngaphezu kwezingane, abantu abadala abaningi nabo banokunamathela okuthile ezintweni ezithambile. Ngokwesibonelo, athanda ukunikeza amathoyizi kanokusho njengezipho, futhi awakwazi ukumelana nonodoli abahle abasemshinini wezinzipho; isibonelo, abanye abantu bathanda amaphijama kanokusho kakhulu kunezinye izinto zokwakha nezindwangu. Bakhetha izitayela zikanokusho zamakhushini kusofa, izingubo zokulala phansi, ngisho neziphini zezinwele namakesi omakhalekhukhwini... ngoba lezi zinto zingenza abantu bazizwe bekhululekile futhi benethezekile, futhi bafinyelele ngisho nomphumela wokuwohloka.
Kafushane, ngithemba ukuthi abazali bangabuka ngendlela efanele ukuthembela kwezingane zabo kumathoyizi kanokusho, bangakhathazeki kakhulu, futhi bangabaphoqi ukuba bayeke. Baqondise ngobumnene futhi usize izingane zabo zikhule ngendlela engcono kakhulu. Kubantu abadala, inqobo nje uma kungadluleli futhi kungaphazamisi ukuphila okuvamile, ukusebenzisa ezinye izidingo zansuku zonke ukuze uzenze ukhululeke futhi ukhululeke futhi kuyindlela enhle yokunciphisa ukucindezeleka.
Isikhathi sokuthumela: Mar-13-2025